I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
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