Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The uberlube is also flammable
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
