and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Screwed.edu
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
