I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
