It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
