You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
