i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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