im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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