he puts the penis in happiness.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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