you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
