I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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