I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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