i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
