I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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