Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
