The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
