Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
