glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize