Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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