Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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