i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
