Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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