Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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