I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
