STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
