No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
