so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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