I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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