watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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