I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
