I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
