it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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