i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
