Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You can't just leave with hair like that
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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