apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Fuck appropriateness.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
