she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
