They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize