I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
