If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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