ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
