i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
