I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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