Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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