benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
