so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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