...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
