Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
