We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize