Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just had sex bonerless
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
