you mean i was at the winter classic?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I need water and some morals
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
