This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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