Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
