But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Who died my cat blue again?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
