it's not cheating when I paid for it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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