god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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