This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
