Don't you send me to vm
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
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