No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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