Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
