we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
