Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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