I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
