nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
