Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
