I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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