I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
