whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
