How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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