did you get engaged???
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
