Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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