Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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