Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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